Eye Candy

Just a little teaser-peek at the amazing colors going into the newest design that I'm working on...

I'm aiming for a March release, but have a long way to go, so wish my fingers great speed!

Speaking of Coffee... and Mugs...

I added another design to my listing for mug graphics... the much-loved Never Let You Go.

As before, with the Baby, Its Cold Outside mugs, you can either purchase the graphic through my etsy shop for $5 and take it to your own place to have made into mugs, or you can order completed mugs by contacting me via email (beth@heartstringsamplery.com).

If you choose to order a finished mug directly through me, I will work up an invoice for you based on where you live, for accurate sales tax and shipping charges. Cost per mug will be $14 plus state tax, and shipping (within the US) is $4.95 for the first mug, $1.50 for each additional mug... don't worry, I'll do all the calculations for you and send an invoice to reflect the total... just wanted to give you the ability to guess a ballpark figure.

These would be perfect for Valentine gifts, or "just-because" gifts, or for YOURSELF, to enjoy while you stitch.

Ready... Set... Shop!

A Month Without Coffee

Please celebrate with me this morning... I'm drinking coffee!
(and cross your fingers that it won't give me tachycardia).

You may or may not know just how closely knit Coffee and I have become over the years. My best morning companion, comfort for my tastebuds and fingers, as they wrap around a toasty warm mug. I drink her BLACK as night at the beginning of each day.

But back on Christmas Eve when my illness took a turn for the worse and heart rates were through the roof, it became clear that we needed a separation. No caffeine. Period. It was much easier to give up sugar and bread than my Beloved Coffee.

But the last few days have shown such improvement in how I feel that I am taking a risk. A small one, mind you... its decaf there in my cup. Perhaps I'll stick with decaf for the rest of my life, who knows. I'm still just taking one day at a time.

And this day is starting out just right.

PS. those puddles of water on the side table of our grill are frozen solid. The roads are an ice rink this morning. So glad to make it to school and back in one piece. Now for story time with the Girlie before I have to rest up for the next undertaking.

Playing

I'm continuing to feel better, my Dears. Thanks for hanging in there with me!

Just a quick post to share some recent play-time scenarios that were just too good to keep to myself...

You know we all still have that level of creativity inside of us. Lets make it a goal of Twenty-Thirteen to let go of some our stuffy adult ways and free that kid we have trapped in our Responsible box.

*NEW* I Love You Truly (Truly Dear)

We all know the part in Its a Wonderful Life, when George had spent all of the honeymoon funds to save the Building and Loan, only to remember late that it was his wedding day and where was Mary? Remember that part? Then Ernie takes him to the drafty old Granville house that they once threw rocks at, and there is a tropical suite that Mary had been working hard to set up for them. Then, as they kiss, Bert and Ernie serenade them from outside the window...

I love you truly, truly dear,
Life with its sorrow, life with its tears
Fades into dreams when I feel you are near
For I love you truly, truly dear.

Ah! Love, 'tis something to feel your kind hand
Ah! Yes, 'tis something by your side to stand;
Gone is the sorrow, gone doubt and fear,
For you love me truly, truly dear.

That song, written in 1901 by Carrie Jacobs-Bond, represents love at its most basic level, true and dear, in spite of any hardships of life.

This little pair of mini-samplers were inspired by that song, and my Farmboy.

Stitch Count (for each): 84 x 41
Model stitched on Weeks Dye Works 36ct. Cream linen that was coffee stained before stitching.

Using flosses from The Gentle Art: 0420 Gold Leaf, 7019 Pomegranate, 7080 Endive
And flosses from Weeks Dye Works: 1331 Brick, 2202 Bullfrog

Fabric backing is from 3 Sisters for Moda collection "Double Chocolat”, in the “Chocolat Rosebuds” pattern.

The frames are antique.

This design is now available in my etsy shop, and will be going out to my distributors and the shops on my automatic shipments list soon. If you prefer to bypass etsy and order directly through me, you can send me an email: beth@heartstringsamplery.com

Progress

The mornings have been so very bright and cold lately. The snow fell, what? a week ago? more? I've lost track. And still it covers the ground, sparkling in the rays of sun and moon.

The sun rising through the trees on such a cold sparkly morning is an inspiration to carry me into the day. I'm still pretty low. Much better, when compared to a week, two weeks, three weeks ago, but struggling with this slow recovery process.

Trying to savor the slow days with my kids (the First Grader has been home all week with viral Tonsillitis), the cozy couch I lay on, the warm crackling fire in the woodstove, the winter birds flitting outside my window. I know that I am so very blessed. I sometimes don't feel the blessedness of my life, but I know it. I claim it.

And when I feel some stamina emerging in the late afternoon, I pick away at the things I want to accomplish. My lists are short, my expectations I keep to a minimum. But you'll be glad to know that despite the slow rate, I have finally finished preparing a little Valentine pattern, which I'll release tomorrow. Go me!

Answers... Sortof

After the last three weeks of dealing with the inadequacies of institutional medicine, I can't begin to tell you what a relief it was to sit down with a Naturopath yesterday. I ran through the same list of symptoms, with the same timeline, and she immediately began to see patterns that made sense to her.

No throwing up of the hands and saying that it must be a virus, but an actual plan to follow. Felt a little like a miracle.

Thank you for all of your Armchair Doctor suggestions and recommendations. I took all of them to thought. No, it isn't Lyme Disease, and Thyroid problems have also been ruled out by both MD and ND. It appears that I have an imbalance in my Adrenal Glands. She didn't come right out and call it Adrenal Fatigue, because we didn't have any test results to look at. She did, however, give me some supplements to begin taking to help bring the heart rate down and improve my sleep quality. She said to give the supplements 3 days to work, and if there are no improvements at that time to double the dose. So there isn't going to be a magic infusion of health, but already, just the hope of recovery has boosted my well-being.

I have a follow-up appointment in two weeks, and if at that time I am still the same, there will be some more extensive testing done.

We have received meals from our church family and friends, multiple offers for help with laundry and housework and childcare, sweet encouraging cards in the mail, and so many prayers. I appreciate so very much the love that has been poured out on my behalf. It is very humbling to be this far out of my normal realm of ability, and to need to rely on others. But it also feels good. I love people and the spirit of caring that we are able to bestow on each other. Don't ever hesitate, when you hear of someone ill or injured, to send the smallest gesture their way. Speaking from my current experience, every little gift feels like a priceless treasure.

I'll be sure to keep you posted as I continue on this journey.

The Clock Doesn't Stop

No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to make the world pause along with me. Which means my Baby Girl turned 5 today, despite there being much less than the usual fanfare.

She awoke to her birthday banner and presents before Daddy headed off to work. There may not have been a special cake baked by Mama, but it snowed most of the day, and Big Brother got to stay home from school to enjoy it with her. We even managed to get me peeled off of the couch and out for dinner at her requested Olive Garden. Complete with pink tutu and Hello Kitty shirt (on her, not me).

My sweet and sassy Girl, the one with the imagination as wide as the Milky Way, who can wear all 10 pair of her brand new Princess panties at the same time...

...who made a paper crown for herself, then turned it into a Darth Vader mask to go with her cape and light sabre...

...who wants to name her first son B.A. Baracus, and squealed with delight when one of her gifts was decidedly pink and fluffy and tutu-y...

... who adores her Big Brother and hugs and kisses and riding on tractors with Daddy and shooting Nerf guns and talking on her play phone to her Grandma and eating ice cream and leaving trails of toys all over the house...

That same girl who stole our hearts in a hospital room on the day a rare tornado touched down, she is growing up. I treasure every day I have to share breath with her. I'm not so sure I'm ready for her to be this grown up just yet, but I also look forward to the years ahead, watching to see who she becomes.

So...

Its not my heart... whew! But I'm growing more convinced that it isn't mono either. So much for MDs and their inability to look outside the box. No offence intended to any MDs out there, but for a doctor to brush particular symptoms aside without further investigation, to me is inexcusable.

Through lots of reading online (as objectively as possible, I might add... as soon as I started to feel anything other than calm and in charge of the information at my fingertips, I shut the laptop down and get back to a peaceful, rational place) I have a hunch as to what is going on.

Not ready to state it here just yet, but if I'm right, it isn't anything super scary, so don't go getting freaked out on my behalf... it may, however take awhile to restore necessary balance. I found a doctor through some searching that has some experience in the area, and booked an appointment for Friday morning. Don't know if I'll get any answers that day or not, but at least it feels like a step in the right direction.

I really and truly appreciate each and every one of you. I know this isn't the type of posting you've grown to expect out of me, but it is real life, after all. I may shield you from the nitty gritty of my daily struggles with housework and bad-Mom moments (there are enough of those blogs out there already), but my intention is to always be honest and true.

Sick Beth has had plenty of moments of frustration at being held back, but she is also learning to abide in the moment and not fret about the things that in the long run, really don't matter.

Oh, and by the way... the Christmas tree is now un-decorated and out the door. It was so crispy, the ex-firefighting Farmboy couldn't handle it anymore and took matters into his own hands. The laundry has all been washed and dried, and awaits our plundering in a huge pile on the loveseat (hey, at least its clean... and fun to jump into, reports the almost-5-year-old).

The dust bunnies, on the other hand, I've begun to name.

And Then Some More...

Hi everyone... thanks for bearing with me while I unplugged for an entire week. I know you've been wondering how I'm doing. Short story... I'm feeling a bit better.

But unfortunately, I'm still not back to even near full steam. I seem to have a hormonal imbalance, mono, or a heart arrhythmia... or all three... or none of the above. Really.

I'm also sad that school starts back up again today. Having my boy close by these last few weeks, with his hugs and offers to help, has been a balm for my heart. He was giving me a hug yesterday, and said, "Whenever I hug you, I feel like I'm melting".  

Me = instantly undone.

We'll know right away about the heart, since I wore a halter all weekend, and will get it turned in for evaluation this morning, and I'll be seeing my OBGYN on Friday, with a detailed timeline of the last few months to see if she has any insight to clear the air.

I may or may not start spending time posting this week. It will all depend on whether I can start peeling myself off of the couch for longer periods of time.

All this stillness has been both good and miserable. Forced rest and not feeling well in the midst of what should be Christmas happiness, well... it stinks. But the good side is all that time I've had away from the distraction of Pinterest and Facebook and housework.

Lots of time to think about the things that really matter.

There are huge dust bunnies lurking in corners and the Christmas tree is still fully lit and decorated. Mail is piling up on the counter, and I'm scared to look at the laundry hampers.


But the Farmboy has kept the kitchen running, my water glass full, and the kids in happy moods. And I am centered, reinforced, re-grounded in the core of my beliefs in a way that I haven't felt in a very long time.

And I'll have you know that in the midst of many restless, sleepless nights, I came up with SUCH a great design idea. I've got it mostly figured out, now I just have to spend some time putting it together. Can you wait?

Too bad... you'll have to.